The day I realized my wife and I needed couples therapy was a sad, hard day, but it was also a good one in retrospect. This is because it was the turning point in our relationship. It was not a make or break situation. The couples therapy decision was simply growth trying to happen. I knew that. She knew that. But not working things out was destroying us. What could have been something healthy was being corrupted, and our relationship coach helped us work through it.
We knew the statistics, and took this into account when we got married. We knew that people who waited until they were about the age of 25 are about 24 percent less likely to get divorced. Plus, both of our parents were happily married, so this gave us another edge because it meant that our risk of divorce was lowered by 14 percent more.
But then again, we never thought we would need couples therapy. After all, there was a divorce every 13 seconds, which is the same as 6,646 divorces per day, and 46,523 per week. The whole culture around marriage is the same as having a boyfriend and girlfriend nowadays. It is like marriage is considered to be the same as just having a regular relationship, except with tax benefits.
The whole divorce culture is heart breaking as well. Families need each other for moral, and financial support. We are all stronger as a group, and getting divorced only fractures that balance. Did you know that twenty eight percent of children living with a divorced parent live in a household with an income below the poverty line?
Plus, divorces are incredibly messy. There is always a lot of back and forth arguing that poisons people, makes them cruel, cold and hard, and then that only slows the process down more. In fact, the average length of divorce proceedings in the United States is about one year.
If you do not think that couples therapy is for you, then there are other alternatives, like marriage retreats.
Thankfully, my wife and I did not succumb to any of that and become just another sad statistic. We got the couples therapy we needed, and were able to work things out. If you need any marriage advice for men, feel free to ask in the comments. If you have any stories or experiences about marriage counseling or couples therapy, and feel like sharing, I encourage you to! The more encouragement people have to pursue couples therapy, the better! To see more, read this: www.divanyoung.com